Skip to main content

Todd, you asked?

There was a day when I looked at every curve as a sideways event and be damned.
Now, it is your turn, I will be lucky to get to 200 on a straight.
It seems as one ages, there comes a time when we want the journey not to end just yet and those curves tighten up parts tighter'ner than they used to, or so it seems. My gal, Vicki, says I still have it! I don't think she is thinking of the same 'things' as I am, but I love her for saying that! It makes stand taller in a crowd but it 'don't' do much for the feeling I get thinking about some of the ORR curves at or near 200.
So, it is you and your crowd that does it now. It was my turn years ago, wish you had been there! You would of had fun then too but you would of had me to deal with and I wonder which way that would of gone? But we can only wonder, can't we.
Hope that answered your ?
o.k. grandpa.....that's about enough outa you! who pulled the "slam carpenter" string on you? after all, it's not about top speed traps, or if a guy breaks down once on a's about a high average speed. the question has always been the same in the quest of the big number, do you have the gonads [or are you dumb enough] to take a corner at 210?.......anybody can go fast straight. didn't answer my question? you makin' the trip or not?
your great grandson,
btw, that last post of mine was for roland, not you weeksie. i agree with the way you look at this racing stuff jim, and it's probably very similiar to how i look at football right now. back in the day, guys playing at my size [i was 6'7" 360] were a rarity. in '87 there were just 6 guys in the nfl over 310 lbs. today there is like 245! certainly, technology and equipment have made racing easier and safer than it was back in your heyday, just as the advancement of weight training and conditioning has changed football. bottom line is that 10 or 15 years from now, somebody [or several people] will probably be out here with a 260 mph car. but save some of those good stories for me about "back in the day" for the next get together. i always enjoy hearing stuff like that.
HOLY COW!!!! mikey is coming out to play! and in the the enemy's camp, no less. good for you mike and marcia.......maybe everybody can smoke the peacepipe and we'll all live happily ever after.[or maybe we'll all just get drunk.]
as for blender boy.....o.k. tiny tim, it's time to put up or shut up! i can't believe you will let mike's challenge go unanswered. defend yourself boy!!!!
Fear not, my friend Todd!! No more blender time for you, Mikey! My car will Tech for 180 now, been on radar at 170, gone about 175+. But the reality is I do not think it has the beans to average 170, 160, no problem. But next May will be a different story as the Monster Mod. Motor is being built as we speak. So until then I am a middle of the pack SH.. disturber looking to have some fun. Or do I just run the pi... out of it and see what happens? The biggest disadvantage to running a faster class is that I get to Vegas later and have less time for "FUN". Hmmm.... run faster or Brass Poles and cold beer. I dunno, hard choice!

Tim Jones
#306 Mustang Cobra
FiveHead Racing
Well Mikey, it looks like we are in. My navigator gave the thumbs up so we are a go! We will finish strong or give it the Carpenter finish and melt it trying! Think you can get Gramps and the 170 MPH Stock Camaro to come out and play with us?

Tim Jones
#306 Mustang Cobra
FiveHead Racing

P.S. Did I mention I thought you guys did a GREAT job at the Pony?
You guys are having way to much fun on this board. I hate to interrupt on the fun portion, but I need to discuss business with Hennessey if he is still on board.John,I have a neighbor that has one of your Mitz 3000 models of a few years ago and he needs rear sheet medal parts to replace those his girlfriend demolished at 125mph a while back. Can you still provide the parts or advise where to get them? Contact me at my email address if you can help. Ok, guys, back to the fun.
that's my motto......meltdown or win. it's only a few parts, and you said you've got new ones coming anyway. good choice on the decision to go for the gusto!!
as for you sasquatch, bring out that hand-me-down home depot load and show me the light, brother. and, for the record, i LOVE to stop by the sunnyside ranch and see those folks. they are the best, bar none. and of course, i stop there EVERY race.........why do you think i only averaged 192 mph when you ran the 198 [and change]????? easy, dummy! i stopped by for a refreshing cold brew.........but i'm sure i wasn't there for more than a couple of minutes, so i'm sure you still won. well......wait a minute......i WAS there long enough to take a few pictures with ms. rodeo nevada [the rancher's gorgeous 22 year old daughter] so.........hang on a second............still, it wasn't more than 5 minutes, so you probably still won........ well........hold on a minute. maybe paul k. can help us with the math on that one?
oh....sooooo funny dave! but i'm with tim on this'd you know where to find that kind of thing??? and were you buying it, or returning it?

by the way sasquatch, the stealing of one's personal ebay security code is a federal offense. i'm dialing up the feds as i type.
hey, maybe you and hennessey can bunk together at club fed! don't worry, i'll send you cigarettes, so you guys have something other than each other's weenies to smoke.
well.....sadly enough, it looks like we're not gonna be able to convince golder to run the cup car. it also appears that hennessey has decided he's overmatched. plus, ricky doesn't seem ready to participate in our little verbal warfare. man.......what a sad day in the world.

so...............I'M THROWING DOWN A NEW CHALLENGE! this is for dave, rick, john, and anybody else who plans on running unlimited. that's's PT CRUISER TIME!!!! this time maybe we can have a little more spirited contest, and allow a tiny bit of "nudging". i must admit that last time [at the may event], sasquatch schooled me a little bit on the road course as i had A) never been on that track, and B) i have no experience in a FWD car. however, i did learn a few things and now it's time the student teaches the teacher. rick and can you back down from this challenge and still call yourselves men???

how about mr. patterson? can you swing us a little track time on thursday?

For that I am game. You name the car big guy. Sorry but the teacher will hand you your ass once again. The good thing is that you are used to it. When you bitches rent your PT' best get yourself a tow truck to be on standby. Everytime I lap your sorry asses I will remove one body panel from each of your cars on the way by. You think May was an ass-kicking....wait a few weeks....and bring a diaper. You will need it.
it's on!
and just to correct the record, you handed me my ass? i think not.......while i did give you credit for teaching me a few, very minor, "home course secrect" type of things on the vegas course, you handing me my ass was not something i remember happening. as i recall, by the end of the session the only advantage you had left was the fact that you had cheated by removing your airfilter and your load was slightly faster in the straights. hmmmmm........sounds sort of like our recent run at were faster in ONE of the straights, but you got dusted anyway. you should be very thankful you had the 3 minute interval between us there, because if it was only one minute, you would have been passed, to the embarrassment and shame of all of the employees of home depot all across the country. no doubt they would have revoked your your home depot charge card too. :-)

we need to see if gary p. can/will get the track time. if not, we can set up an informal course in downtown vegas. 2 laps around the stratosphere sounds good to me.

but where, oh where are the other boys? i've already whipped your ass this month, so it'd be nice to muster up a little more competition for this contest.

i know i will beat you, if for no other reason than you will be weight handicapped. in addition to the 50 lbs you weigh more than me, you will, most likely, be pulling a trailer behind your Cruiser as your overgrown ego probably won't fit in the back of the car.
good luck anyway.
Handed you your ass was an understatement. You spent more time off road than on the road. When I took you out to show you the screamed like a 4 year old girl. "SLOW DOWN WE ARE GOING TO FLIP OVER" were the high pitched words that came out of your mouth.

As far as the 50lbs....maybe we need a scale also. No way your lard ass is less than a duece. Plus if I recall I always had a passenger and no-one would even dare ride with you. They were way to embarresed.

Up and down the the parking garage at Sams don't matter.

Once again you will go home with the small trophy...or more likely no trophy at all.
of course i went off road a few got your line, i've got mine. so what's the big deal. tearing around on asphalt is fun, but i enjoy off-road racing too. plus, you went off-course several times just like i did.
to address your comment about me screaming like a 4 year old girl; i did question your speed, and yes, i was quite concerned........for the following reasons; 1) you didn't let me put my helmet on. 2) you're no joey chitwood...those pt's aren't meant to be run up on 2 wheels. 3) i was afraid you were going to get us piled up by cutting in front of roland every time he lapped you. 4) my big gulp was spilling all over the place. 5) pt cruisers have more horsepower than you can handle.

in my defense, i had never been on that course, but once i ran it for a little while, i don't think your lap times were much faster than mine, and even if they were it was because you had cheated by altering your car [as i have mentioned before] and if you had run all the cement turns along with some of the gravel ones like i did, you'd find it takes a bit longer. hear me now and believe me will not stay on the road at this event.

now that we've determined that this event is full contact, you're toast! my suggestion to you is rent your car early and get it outfitted with some all-terrain type tires......maybe even a lift kit.

what can we do to get the other boys out to play so you can at least beat somebody?
Well Todd..first off Roland was a long way from lapping us. I was a little mystified why the 130hp PT was catching ROLO about 4 seconds a lap. I figured that was why you were screaming. As far as two wheels...ya maybe but your fat ass was in the passenger seat keeping them almost on the ground.

As far as the horsepower....don't worry I can handle it. I went off once..not at every corner like you. The guys at Derek Daly handed you the broom if I recall.

Full your talking!
that's right.....i volunteered to sweep up the few tiny rocks i scattered. so what? those guys were being babies about it, but i always try to clean up after myself. however......i am going on record right now that i will have nothing to do with cleaning the seat in your pt cruiser after you shit yourself while spinning in circles off-road, even though i caused it...........................................i will also not be vacuuming any back hair out of your car. when you return it, just tell the rental people that somebody locked a stray dog in your car......that'll explain the smell and the fur.

i couild have swore roland said HE was putting YOU down 4 seconds a lap?
As of a couple days ago, the track in Pahrump was available for rent on 12 Sep. You can reach them @ 800-391-6891. BTW, I have a 4 cyl, front wheel drive car (like the PT Cruiser)which I'd enter in your contest if you'd delete the "contact" provision. In my "few" years of race track experience most "contact" drivers I've seen use that technique to make up for lack of skill. Carl
hey! carl's awake !!! good to hear from you pappy. how's your new can holder working out?so, the rumors of you buying a mini are true? cool! wait a second......aren't they watercooled? i never thought i'd live to see such a thing.

sorry fellas......pahrump on the 12th won't work for me.......i'm not coming out there till the 19th [or maybe the 18th]. gotta work sometime, you know, so i'm not running the gold rush this time........just been there, just did that sort of thing.

carl, i agree that "contact" works best as a substitute of driving skill............but sasquach swears that no one will ever pass him him without such "contact", so them's the rules. as i'm sure you already know, i'm normally a very careful and courteous driver. however, i think i can see my way clear to knock the piss out that lardass on my way around him. and don't worry......i'll get out of your way when you lap the whole group of us :-)


Glad to see that Pappy is back. Carl if you can run is not a worry. You just need to make sure you stay in front. Glad the new can holder is in good working order. If contact is an are more than welcome to ride with me. Your weight won't hurt me. I know in most cases it would.....but geez, we are talking about Todd here. I could put his high school girlfriend in the car and the extra 350 won't matter.
allrighty then.......boyce, are you coming out to drive or will you be navigating? either way, you should show up so we can beat you up in person instead of having to do it on the internet. :-)

carl, i'd be careful about the "i can whip you guys one handed" comments with a guy like dave. knowing what we know about his "alternative" life style, i'll bet he has plans for your other hand too.

and dave, the comment about my 350 lb high school case you forgot, i married her. and after she read that comment you have now made her shit-list too. congratulations!'ve done in one e-mail what it took me years to accomplish!

Add Reply

Link copied to your clipboard.